Power of Words

"It does not require many words to speak the truth." ~Chief Joseph, Nez Perce Tribe

These last few days have been incredibly relaxed; which leaves me with ample amounts of time to think. This usually tends to be overwhelming because I often become lost in the unknown and the infinite dark corners of my mind. I am a thinker. Many will argue because I am a girl I over analyze EVERYTHING. Call it what you will, but I prefer to call it "examining all the options." My favorite time to escape the insanely fast-paced world we all live in is when I go running. The rhythmical, constant pounding of my feet on the pavement matches the electric contractions of my heart as it pumps oxygen-rich blood throughout my body. My body habitually takes over and I am left to explore my thoughts.

Lately, my thoughts have been consumed by the power of words. Individually words may lack meaning or passion so we string them together in sentences. Add too many and the sentence becomes verbose, ultimately resulting in a dark glare from the English professor as he shreds your self esteem apart. Add to few and the sentence becomes incomplete, yet again, resulting in the English professor burning a hole through your soul with the disgust in his eyes. After many hours of thought and ten miles later, I have come to the conclusion that the perfect sentence is just THREE words long.

Here's why.

I believe the most consequential phrases in language to be only three words long.
             I love you. 
                  I hate you.
                       I am sorry.
                            You are forgiven. 

Story time.

About a year ago, give or take a few weeks, one of the most influential and important relationships in my life ended abruptly and not on the happiest of terms. I felt absolutely no closure and was almost positive that this person would hate me for the rest of life. Out of nowhere this person contacted me and let me know they were sorry for how the situation was handled and if I could be forgiving.

Suddenly, closure. Sweet, blessed closure.

So, if three little ingenious words strung together can create remarkable changes in our lives then why do we not employ them more often. Oh I know, because we are prideful goobers. I have made a goal to use these three word sentences more often. Now, I am not going to overuse them because repetition eliminates the true power of such words but I will not be stingy.

I think we should all try harder to be more forgiving (yes, that includes all you grudge-holding girls out there) and loving; starting with me.

Love always,
    Christine

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."            ~Martin Luther King Jr.  

Guilty Pleasures

I have many of them. The people who are closest to me can most likely identify them but if you do not know me personally then they may seem abstract or unlikely. But, oh the joy that they bring me! Let me name a few.

Grey's Anatomy.

This show has the capability to make me laugh hysterically one moment and break into tears the next. I am completely involved in each character and seem to feel their pain and success along with them.

Pillows.

My love for pillows may border the line between guilty pleasure and obsession. I have more than fifteen pillows and sleep with every single one of them. They are the best; you can snuggle up to them without getting a whiff of morning breathe and you can manipulate them however you want. ;)

Dancing.

The above movie cover explains my weekend life.
And of course, to go dancing one must be dressed up. I usually thug it with a Tall T and my ladies. Dancing is my favorite!

Law and Order: SVU

Law and Order must be enjoyed Special Victims Unit style. Detective Stabler and Benson are my homies and this may be tied for the best tv series of all time (tied with Grey's Anatomy, of course). I love watching SVU because it keeps you thinking the whole time. It is never predictable and it is "bad A."

Chocolate Orange Sticks and BottleCaps.

 I inherited my sweet tooth for chocolate orange sticks from my adorable Grandpa Joe. He would always sneak me a few when my Mom wasn't looking.  To this day they remain a guilty pleasure. However, my absolute favorite candy is BottleCaps!!! The CocaCola and RootBeer flavored ones are my favorite. Sadly, they are becoming more difficult to find and I may need to start a life's supply just in case they become obsolete.

Shoes.

Shoes are a necessary evil. They are often uncomfortable and restrictive. So, if I must wear them then I will enjoy them. Shoes are the ONLY thing I enjoy shopping for and I have a plethora of shoes. I simply will never have enough. My favorite pair is my hot red cowgirl boots. Every girl needs a pair of hot red boots.

Black Boys.

Black boys are hot. Need I say more? Nah, I'll let the men talk for themselves. Take a lookie ladies! mmmhmmmmmmmmm

My guilty pleasures are simple things, yet they bring me so much joy. Life is too short to be high maintenance so I will find my joy in the little things in life.

Love always,
       Christine

Take me Home

"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." ~Confucius

At the ripe young age of 18.5 years old I moved away from home...47 miles away to Happy Valley. For the past 9 months Provo has been my home and I did enjoy my independence immensely. I loved the fact that I was solely responsible for my actions; good or bad. I had  no curfew, could eat what I wanted, an do as I pleased. That being said, I am pleased to announce that I DID NOT gain an ounce of the notorious freshman fifteen; a fact that I am super pleased and excited about. Although I absolutely LOVED every second of living away from my parents home I have decided to move back to Salt Lake and continue my education at the University of Utah (I look so much better in red). Many people have told me how hard it will be moving back home after finding my independence. In some ways I agree but in other ways I could not disagree more. Why?

Because I am broke. BYU honestly soaked my wallet for all it's worth and I returned home with $15.37 to my name. My wonderful mother is willing to buy groceries and cook healthy meals for me, which saves me a plethora of money! My mother and I decided in order to maintain some independence I will remain doing my own laundry but I am allowed to use the family washing machines and detergent. My parents have also allowed me access to their cars and I now have the mobility to get my dream job.

Moving home is not going to be as difficult as everyone declares. I am sure I will, at times, be frustrated with my parents and there will be tempers but that is part of life; learning to control those emotions and solve problems maturely. Slowly, as I earn back money I will buy my own groceries and become more independent but at this time, I am perfectly fine mooching off my parents. Pierre and Sarah are the best!

love always,
    Christine    

You're not dead, so smile!

"No body can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
                ~Maria Robinson

 It seems that lately the cool thing to do is be a pessimist. Recently, I have had many conversations with people about terrible life is for them at the moment. Whether it is heartbreak, money issues, family problems, or health issues people seem to think that the world is terrible place and life is pointless. Listen up Debbie Downers in the world, if you do not like your life then change it!

Most of these people whom I have engaged in conversation with have lived privileged lifestyles; as I believe most of us have. Of course, no one's life is perfect but it is full of blessings and tender mercies.

Here's why:

A girl complained to me about her body and expressed interest in losing weight in unnatural ways. I follow a blog of old acquaintance who has been battling cancer and is losing weight because her body is fighting against her. This girl is so positive and battling her cancer with a smile and freshly shaved head. We are lucky.
                             Follow her blog here

Over 1.5 billion people do not have access to clean, safe water. A typical individual in the United States uses 500 liters of water each day.  We walk to the faucet and instantly we have cold, clean water. In Sub-Saharan Africa women spend on average 16 hours and 3.7 miles a week collecting water. We are lucky.

Unsafe water is the biggest killer of children under the age of five. 43% of all water related deaths are due to diarrhea. We complain when we get the "runs" because the taste of pepto bismol is nasty and a mother weeps as her child is buried because of diarrhea. We are lucky.

925 million people go to bed hungry. Every day, almost 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes. That is one child every five seconds. They would kill for food and we would kill if the man taking our orders at the local Wendy's messes up and we have to wait an extra minute. We are lucky.

There are 781 million illiterate adults worldwide, and 64 percent of them are women.An estimated 130 million of the world's 15 to 24 year-olds cannot read or write. They have never been to a school and we complain about and "hate" going to school. We are lucky.

We grumble about the weathering and hide away in our houses waiting for warmer weather. The streets are littered with the homeless who hope to survive the night with what little clothing and shelter they may have. We are so lucky.

Again, I say, if you do not like your life then you have the obligation to change it because millions of people do not have neither the means nor capabilities to change their lives. If you hare reading this then I am assuming you live a privileged life.  

It is time we stop complaining and genuinely begin to realize how lucky we are.

Smile when it hurts most.

Love always,
      Christine

Flesh and Blood

"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses."  ~Joyce Brothers

I had a wonderful weekend. Would you like to know why? Good, because I am going to tell you why. I had a wonderful weekend because I spent every second of it with my family and no one else. My brother Richard lives in Indiana and was on business trip to the west coast during the week. He was able to make a lay over in Salt Lake so after a few phone calls the whole family (minus Tammy, Richard's wife who was holding down the household in Indiana) was able to gather on Saturday for some Alley-FUN! We are only able to all be together a few days out of the year so each moment is precious.


On Saturday morning we all gathered at home in Salt Lake. My family is honestly the best. I feel super bad for you because you weren't born in to it :) But I'm single so feel free to marry into it but just remember I am determine to add some color to this family.... But here are a few of my favorite Alley-family moments from all time.

• We cannot read scriptures as a family because we start laughing when people make mistakes. Becca was the worst at pronouncing and often said "Corihamburger" for Coriantumr, "reign of the juicies" for reign of the judges, and she refused to say the name Shiz cause she thought it was a swear word.
• JUST DANCE 2: this game provides the family with serious entertainment as we giggle at the boys trying to shake their booties. Somehow Elizabeth always wins....
• My dear father does not allow swearing. Story time: We were once playing a game where you must describe a movie using quotes. I just so happened to be assigned Gone With the Wind and proceeded to quote
• "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." -Me
• "gummmmmphrrrr, do not swear or you will get soap in your mouth." - Pierre, my Dad
• "damn, damn, damn" - Sarah, my mom as she mischievously looks at my dad
• "You'd better run Sarah" - Pierre
• my mom takes off running throughout the house and my dad chases her down with soap, tackles her and makes her bite off a piece of soap. My Mom drooled soap buds for a month :)

• "I wonder what Dad is thinking?" - Becca. "I bet he is thinkin 'why did I have sex?" - Miss naive Elizabeth (she meant six kids....
• directed at Stephen-"hey stupid, it's called a satire."-Christine "Sateerrrrr. Sateerrrrrr. Sateeeeeerrrrrr." - Stephen and Richard being stupid and making fun of my intelligence
• While we were on a family cruise Becca wanted to bring some sand home for memory sake.
• "Dad! But why can't I take home the sand?" -Becca
• "Because the sand has orgasms." -Pierre. He still claims that he meant organisms. haha uh huh  

Those are just a few of my favorite memories. I love my family and am so grateful that they play such an important roles in my life. I LOVE YOU ALLEY FAM!

Love always, 
        Christine

Confessions of a Prostitute

Now that title should spark some interest.

Let me explain. In beginning of January it became painfully obvious that if I did not find a way to make some extra cash during the semester then I would be living off of canned soup and saltine crackers. Taking a full credit load at school my parents did not want me to work and instead, focus on getting excellent grades and re-qualifying myself for scholarships that BYU so rudely denied (yes, I am still bitter!). However, I did need a little cash flow into my bank account or life would be impossible. So what is one to do?

I followed in the footsteps of my oh-so-wise older brothers and became a human pin cushion.

Yes, I began to sale my body. Every Tuesday and Thursday I made my way to Biomat USA and sold my plasma. Confession: that somewhat-kinda makes me a prostitute. Our bodies have this amazing liquid component (plasma) in the blood and it replenishes itself every few days so you can sale it! For sitting in a chair four hours a week while watching movies with a good size needle in my arm is well worth the fifty dollars earned. I love my body, it makes me money (in a very clean, wholesome and proper way, of course)!

Story time: One of the technicians that stuck me this week infiltrated the vein...not good. This means that instead of stopping when he hit the vein, he punctured it. This is very bad because when the blood is returned to you it pools in your arm instead of flowing through the vein. The result: a giant bruise on my arm! It was awesome. I loved every second of it. Mostly because I'm morbid and blood is cool.  

It kinda hurts.

Love always,
      Christine

Ode to the University of the Brigham Young

Today is a HUGE day in history;
for it is the last day that I attended classes at BYU as a student.

Here are a few things I disliked and liked about my experience at BYU.

Liked (let's start with the few positives, shall we?)

• The testing center - a great way to procrastinate to the last second and take your tests when it is the most convient time for you.
• Living with my sister; who managed to keep my sane when all I wanted to do was stab a freaking zoobie. (I swear I'm not violent, Provo just has that affect on normal people)
• Living within 10 minutes of my adorable sister Rachel, her husband and my two favorite boys in the world. I'm going to miss my nephews so much! 
• Finding my best friend Hollie Lee Crosby in the most bizarre of all ways possible. Thank you woman for sitting down next to me in Book of Mormon class and swearing loudly:) I knew I'd like you.
• The level of expectation. Professors expect you to do well and challenge you to perform to best of your abilities.
• The cadaver lab. I spent a great majority of my free time with the cadavers and BYU has incredible connections that allow students to view/manipulate the cadavers in ways that other universities are not allowed to.
• The campus. The architecture is stunning and the grounds beautiful. Once I was studying outside on a secluded lawn and the grounds crew drove up, removed the pine cones from their natural habitat and then drove off. Now that people, is landscaping DETAIL! 

Disliked

• Two Words: Freshman Mentoring. BYU had a not-so-brilliant idea to make freshman take classes in bundles with a mentor assigned to each bundle. The idea behind it; so you take general classes with the same people and one upper-classman guides makes the transition to college easier. First, I took all the stupid generals in highschool so I had to petition to take classes towards my major. Second, if I wanted an upper-classman to harass me I would allow one of the oh-so-creepy-marriage-hungry-males to babysit me.
• Jimmer fever. I am going to upset 95% of Utah by saying this but Jimmer is a ball hog and has terrible defense. Yes, when he has "on" days he can shoot from extreme distances but basketball is a team sport.
• The student section at football games. Sitting students in small groups throughout the stadium mixed with old people is a terrible idea! Now the MUSS, that is a student section. 
• The lack of color. Someone painted over Provo with white-out. Either that or all the black boys are hiding from me or getting suspended (thank you Brandon Davies, you are my favorite player still)
• The testing center when I have failed a test after spending three hours taking it. 
• BYU information systems. No one knows anything that is beneficial and it takes forever to get any answers. If you need correct information you have to contact the head honcho and for that you basically need security clearance. Lame. 
• THE DRESS CODE! If the gooberish boy sitting next to me can wear his shorts that short than surely my shorts can be just as short! Oh, and I broke the honor code by keeping my third piercing! SUCKERS!!!
• Provo drivers. Worst drivers ever, certifiably stupid. 
• Rape Hill. This hill of death nearly killed me every time I had to climb it. Mother earth didn't seem to notice that some of us have to carry half our lives to school, which makes for heavy backpacks and swass :)
• Everyone seems to be marriage and baby hungry! And people get engaged/married after a month or two or dating. INSANE.
• Provo is boring.

 I feel much better for ranting. Thank you for indulging my frustrations by reading. I have decided to go back to my roots, where everyone bleeds red.

And because, let's be honest, I look much better in red! GO UTES!

Love always,
      Christine

you might be a doctor if...

...you think this is funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N0w2rORwSc

Okay, let's be honest, anyone who understands what the song is about thinks it is hilarious!

You may ask yourself, why is Christine watching silly youtube songs instead of doing someone productive with her life.

The answer: I'm mourning, My favorite course this semester ended tonight(a bit nerdy but I really did love that class). Preview to Medicine was a prerequisite for medical school and I absolutely adored every minute of that class. Each class session a different specialist would guest lecture and give advice about getting into med school, performing well and choosing a specialty. It quickly became evident that each specialty attracts a certain personality type and so far I think I belong with the pediatric oncologists or pediatric trauma surgeons :). So, here is what I learned about certain specialties.

Surgeons think:

• a chance to cut is chance to cure 
• all bleeding eventually stops 
• there are only three rules to life: 1)eat when you can 2)sleep when you can and 3) don't screw with the pancreas :)
• when in doubt, blame anesthesia (or an anesthesiologist!)
• if it ain't broke. don't fix it 
• a patient is never to sick for a life saving procedure 
• ask any surgeon the definition of "shifty dullness" and they will answer "rounds in internal medicine"
• to live by the 3 B's-blood, brain barrier- the distance between the anesthesiologist and the surgeon
• orthopedic surgeon: if you can't pin it or cast it; screw it

Internists think:

• you can never use enough KY jelly 
• dermatology is the only specialty in medicine where there are 200 diseases and only three types of cream to treat them
• never pull out a tube; that is what nurses are for 

Pediatricians know:

• to never trust a naked baby 

Internists know everything and do nothing, surgeons know nothing and do everything, dermatologists know nothing and nothing, and pathologists know everything and do everything- but a day too late!

Beware: You might need to rethink your future plans if you understand the above^.

Medicine is sweet. That is all.

Love always,
        Christine

Bucket List for Ma Life

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." ~James Dean

Today in my public speaking class we each had to deliver our final lecture. This lecture was to exemplify what we would want the world to know if this were to be our last day; a final legacy. As I sat listening to the passion and each personal life experiences of each individual, I began to think of what I want to accomplish before my ticker bites the dust. I have compiled a bucket list for my life.

1. Set foot on each of the seven continents and travel extensively.
2. Be fluent in another language.
3.Climb one of the world's seven summits.
4. Get accepted, attend, and graduate with honors from medical school.
5. Cure amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). 
6. Surf.
7. Adopt at least one child from a foreign country.
8. Donate at least one organ, all if they are usable.
9. Save a life.
10. Scuba in the Great Barrier Reef.
11. Photograph an endangered species.
12. Add some color to the family (hint: Chocolate)
13. Skydive.
14. Shake hands with someone who has truly changed a country for the better.
15. Run a marathon.
16. Learn to play the guitar and then own at it.
17. Fall in love in a foreign country.
18. Take up photography.
19. Change a life.
20. Publish a book.
21. Learn to fly a plane and be licensed.
22. Be world-renowned.
23. Raise a happy and healthy family.
24. Experience weightlessness.
25. Complete a triathlon.

These are in no particular order and most certainly not in order of my priorities. I will add to the list as I discover new adventures that I want to embark on. Life has so many possibilities and it is too short to waste in meaningless experiences. I love life.

Love always,
        Christine

My Thoughts on Old People

"You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair."  ~Douglas MacArthur

I saw a lot of old people this weekend.

It was almost like senior appreciation weekend. By old people I mean 70+, pure white hair and gramps with cute little walking sticks. I feel a little ripped off when it comes to grandparents because mine died when I was so young. I have vague memories of them but from what I remember they were the best people ever. I have not spend a plethora of time around the elder so naturally, I began to think about what it would be like to be that old. I decided that when I'm old I will...
1) be a cute little granny and my husband will be absolutely adorable! I have this intense fear of growing older and uglier. Don't laugh at me, it is a serious fear. 99% of grandparents seem to getting cuter as the time goes. I would HATE to be that 1% that the youthful run and shield their eyes from. I'm not vain I promise. I just want to be a cute litle lady. Oh and my adorable old little husband and I will hold hands in public (of course in private as well), because love is timeless :) 

2) spoil my grandchildren and I'm going to enjoy myself doing it. I do not care if I have to start saving today but I will spend money on them. Why? Because that is what grandparents are supposed to do. Spoil them and then send them back to their parents. It is a cycle of life people.

3) If I have serious health care issues and have to sit in a wheel chair all day I am going to invest in a Jazzy! Those things have got serious horsepower. I might even start an underground betting business and start jazzy drag races. A little extra cash never hurt anyone.

4) I am refusing now to ever get too old and become incapable of wiping my own bum and having to regress to diapers. I do not want a poor little CNA to take care of my business for me! Thanks but no thanks.

5) I will make a sure that says "You wish your grandkids were as cute as mine." But each shirt will have one picture of a grandchild under the writing. I'll wear them everyday.

While I do not want to get old, if it must happen then I'm going to age with spunk and style.

Love always,
       Christine

"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone."  ~Jim Fiebig

525,600 Minutes

"To the attentive eyes, each moment of the year has its own beauty, and in the same field, it beholds, every hour, a picture which was never seen before, and which shall never be seen again."
                      ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

All in a Year

        Today as I was tidying up my meager living space I began to think about how much my life has changed in just a simple year. Last April, my life changed dramatically in many different avenues and I most definitely would never have expected myself to be where I am today. April of 2010 was the darkest month of my life. I am naturally a very happy person but life-long goals and failed and I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I have spent the last 525,600 minutes of the past year recovering from that brutal month. I have grown, strengthened, regressed, laughed so hard I've cried and cried so hard I'm pretty sure my brain liquefied and and escaped my skull in the from of a runny nose. Most importantly, I have learned from each moment. In effort to capture a few of the lessons, I have composed a list of the what I learned about myself and life.

1) The decisions that are often the best for us, often bring the most pain. If it was not excruciatingly hard than it was not worth it.  

2) Do not allow anyone to tell you that  "you can't," "you're  not good enough" or to "just give up." There is no such thing as "I can't;" but there is "I won't." Gosh darn, JUST DO IT. You will be suprised by your personal strength.

3) Read the small print and ask more than one person.

4) God knew that friends are flaky and unreliable so He gave you a family; the only constant in a rapidly changing world.

5) I like my icecream vanilla and my boys chocolate.

6) Find joy in each individual homework assignment/studying. Complaining does not make it any easier and we are profoundly blessed to have the resources and capabilities to attend school. Stop mocking those who will never have the opportunity to even know how to write their name by hating school.

7) I do not need a boy, I need a man! hehehe 

8) Nothing ends a stressful week better than hitting the dance floor with my girls.

9) I do not let relationships between certain people affect my relationships with other people. If I did, I'd have half as many friends and grudges are lame 

10) Once I have come to deeply care for someone I will always deeply care for them. Even if they are no longer a part of my life.  

    There you have it folks. A fabulous year summarized in ten statements. I look forward to this next year with excitement and anticipation. My future is unlimited and the possibilities endless. I'm determined to make the most of the 525,600 minutes and make a wonderfully fabulous memorable year. 

Love always, 

       Christine

Dear Blogging World -

Hello person-who-is-reading-this-blog,
     I promised myself that I would never blog, however, after much pondering and suggestions of many I am giving this blogging thing a try. Basically, I am doing this for me; to keep a electronic journal (there is no gosh darn way I would write everything down - paper is becoming obsolete!), document my life and to examine the world.

     So, you are more than welcome to follow me on my journey as I build my life. A woman I greatly admire, Eleanor Roosevelt, said,"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." This blog is about my dreams, wildest aspirations, and inevitably the heartfelt sorrow that accompanies failure. Welcome to my life - sit back, kick your feet up, indulge in some chocolate covered orange sticks (my weakness in life) and enjoying the musings of Moi.

Love always,

     Christine