The last time... a strange feeling

Wow. This is a strange feeling. Like that moment right before you wake up but you are still all sleepyheaded. I cannot believe this is my last email as a full-time missionary. You know, from the beginning you think about this moment coming and then the closer it comes, you beg for the time to slow down. I have learned many lessons in these few days - live in the moment because it always ends ;(

Quick run down of the week - saying goodbye to people was pretty brutal, more so than usual because it also felt like I was saying goodbye to Italy, to the only thing I have known for the past 18 months. I held it together until Sunday, specifically sacrament meeting. Then I think I must have gotten dust in my eyes or something because boy were they watering......sharing my testimony in italian for the last time as a missionary was a very special moment. I dont remember what i said or if it was even understandable but I felt peace and so much love toward all the members. Then monday morning, we got a call....our travel plans had been changed and we were to be in milano wednesday evening....so i had to actually face the fact and pull out the luggage. The  last few days have been extruciatingly diffcult. I had the pleasure yesterday of extending the baptisimal invite for the last time in my last lesson. It was the perfect conclusion to my mission but also a very bitter sweet moment. To sum it up, I can say Dying is hard. I literally feel like Italy is who I am now and Sorella Alley is who I am now. I know in time, I will figure it all out but to realize the 18months of consecrated service had come to a finish was a hard fact to face. But on a happier note, today was the perfect way to sum my entire experience thus far. We waited for 40minutes for a bus, that never came because of a strike so we chubby ran all the 30 minutes to the station with 3 pieces of luggage. I couldnt stop giggling because that is just Italy! 

So now, it has arrived. I will be in MIlano soon with the corpses (is that a word?) of other dead missionaries. All i can say is I WILL NEVER FORGET this experience. I can never forgot  the first day of my mission and thinking, "how am I ever going to survive this experience?". A few weeks later I remember thinking, "the next bus i see I am accidently going to put myself in front of it to get an honorable release...." to now thinking, "Io sono Italiana." The best of this entire experience is the end product of myself. My strengths became stronger and my weaknesses became strengths. I found my testimony, it deepened and now it is unshakeable. I will never be able to deny the feelings that I have experienced as a missionary nor the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Come what may, because I will never turn my back on what I KNOW to be true. I c ould not be more gateful for the mission Ihave served and the part of Italy that will always be with me. I am the most blessed person on the earth! 

Now, the countdown begins! I am allowing myself to now focus on the fact that I will see a few of my beloved in just a day! Those will be welcome happy tears. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. 

Vi amo! For the last time, 

Sorella Alley 

My last week!

Family family family, 

   hello again! What to say....dying is very strange. It is a roller coaster of emotions but I have had many wonderful  moments this week that I know are tender mercies from the Lord. While studying the other morning, I had a very strong impression the Lord was pleased with my work. I think it might be just a little of what the final judgement will be. As i mentally started from day 1 of my mission and worked to the present moment I examined myself and my desire. The Lord was not there with a clipboard or a list of mistakes that I have made as a missionary or the tiny moments of disobedience. Instead, I felt like He was showing me WHO I was, from the heart outward. I realized I have changed - I am not perfect. I still laugh at naughty jokes, I still drop it low when my companion is not looking and I still hate making my bed. But, I am a better version of me. I am a converted version of me. It this tender moment I felt the loving arms of the Savior rap around me and the welcomed, peaceful thoughts of "yes, I am pleased." Missions are the best. 

Game time

Famiglia mia! Cari miei.

Let's get down to business, shall we? Let us begin with the baptism of my girl Doris! Doris's sister Happiness (yes, legit nigerian name) gave birth so Doris left to Pistoia to tend to her auntly duties. But it worked out perfectly because the sister in Pistoia were able to finish teaching her and preparing her for her baptism on Saturday. And who may you ask are the sister's in Pistoia? Sorella Reni and Quinton! So yes, my little baby was able to prepare Doris for her baptism. So my heart was calm knowing Doris was in good hands. Friday we headed up to MIlano for consiglio della missione and it was weird to be there for the last time. I was doing fine and did not even notice until I shook hands with Anziano Pagano and realized it would be the last time I would see him for AT LEAST 6 months. I just started crying. It's fine. Out of no where it just hit that I HAVE to say goodbye to other missionaries as well as investigators and members. He shed a few tears himself and we parted our ways. Oh my little Pagano. Back to the baptism. Saturday morning rolled around and we started running around firemen in a burning building. Why? MIssionaries are very good at working in organized chiaos. Satan was working really hard to make sure that the baptism didnt happen but we side stepped him all day long and Doris was baptized! Literally it went PERFECT. Doris chose Andrew to baptize her and it's obvious that he was a baptizing missionary (Andrew, you are probably reading this so don't let your head get any bigger....) but he dunked her, literally did a body sweep to make sure it was complete immerse and then even looked at the witnesses. So Doris was baptized and was absolutely glowing! The next morning, she was confirmed and given the Holy Ghost. She is a huge miracle for me because I have been here and taught her for the entire experience. Sunday night the GANS through her a party and the love for her is overwhelming. She fits in perfectly and is the best thing to happen to our little ward. Welcome to the fold Doris, now "wiggle it".