Finding Christine Marie: My last week!

Family family family,

hello again! What to say....dying is very strange. It is a roller coaster of emotions but I have had many wonderful moments this week that I know are tender mercies from the Lord. While studying the other morning, I had a very strong impression the Lord was pleased with my work. I think it might be just a little of what the final judgement will be. As i mentally started from day 1 of my mission and worked to the present moment I examined myself and my desire. The Lord was not there with a clipboard or a list of mistakes that I have made as a missionary or the tiny moments of disobedience. Instead, I felt like He was showing me WHO I was, from the heart outward. I realized I have changed - I am not perfect. I still laugh at naughty jokes, I still drop it low when my companion is not looking and I still hate making my bed. But, I am a better version of me. I am a converted version of me. It this tender moment I felt the loving arms of the Savior rap around me and the welcomed, peaceful thoughts of "yes, I am pleased." Missions are the best.

Another tender moment - teaching Chidimna. We have been teaching and working with Chidimna from week 1 of my time here in Pisa. Sorella Bennett and I bike contacted her and we have seen her grow very in the gospel. But , sadly, Sorella Hoffman and I have witnessed the riverse. The adversary is very active and doing a very good job and hardening the spirits of many people. It has been hard to witness this as I felt like a huge failure. I let her down, and I left Heavenly Father down. In a last ditch effort, we taught a lesson completely focused on the Church of Jesus Christ - the primitive church. We started at the base, with Christ himself and layed out foundation of His church. Andrew helped us teach, okay correction, Andrew taught the lesson and the Spirit was very strong as he testified of Moroni's promise that if we read and prayed we could know the truth of all things, including the establish and restoration of Christ's church. In one heartbreaking moment, she denied and refused it all. I am sure he is not even aware of his response but Andrew hung his head, let out a deep disappointed sigh and reacted with love. Why is this a tender mercy for me? Because it proved to me that know matter what happens in the next couple days, weeks or years, you cannot take the missionary out a returned missionary. I will forever understand what it feels like to "drop a golden investigator". I will forever understand how awfuls it feels to be rejected after giving it all. I understand just a little bit more, the Atonement. It gave me hope that even thought I amgoing home, I will still feel the same and react the same. And he is boss so its fine.

Doris comes to church looking like this.
I shrink in my seat and covet her clothes"

Another tender moment - Sunday was fast and testimony meeting. I was a little emotional to begin with - we shall blame it on the lack of food...but as my last testimony meeting in Italy, I wanted to do the translating to really make myself pay attention. One of my favorite members shared her testimony and said some very genuine and sweet things about me....a little awkward to be translating about yourself....but it was a tender mercy to see that love that I feel reflected by members.

I think that is all, but I cant remember straight right now. I cant remember a word in english and it is really bothering me.....when someone likes goes on a fast and then eats or buys a ton. Burge? Bilge? ahhhhh

vi amo! Sorella Alley

"You will not believe how long I spent ironing these baptisimal whites. Turns out, not to easy to iron's men clothes. I ironed out the wrinkles, flipped over and then somehow reironed in wrinkles..."