The last time... a strange feeling

Wow. This is a strange feeling. Like that moment right before you wake up but you are still all sleepyheaded. I cannot believe this is my last email as a full-time missionary. You know, from the beginning you think about this moment coming and then the closer it comes, you beg for the time to slow down. I have learned many lessons in these few days - live in the moment because it always ends ;(

Quick run down of the week - saying goodbye to people was pretty brutal, more so than usual because it also felt like I was saying goodbye to Italy, to the only thing I have known for the past 18 months. I held it together until Sunday, specifically sacrament meeting. Then I think I must have gotten dust in my eyes or something because boy were they watering......sharing my testimony in italian for the last time as a missionary was a very special moment. I dont remember what i said or if it was even understandable but I felt peace and so much love toward all the members. Then monday morning, we got a call....our travel plans had been changed and we were to be in milano wednesday evening....so i had to actually face the fact and pull out the luggage. The  last few days have been extruciatingly diffcult. I had the pleasure yesterday of extending the baptisimal invite for the last time in my last lesson. It was the perfect conclusion to my mission but also a very bitter sweet moment. To sum it up, I can say Dying is hard. I literally feel like Italy is who I am now and Sorella Alley is who I am now. I know in time, I will figure it all out but to realize the 18months of consecrated service had come to a finish was a hard fact to face. But on a happier note, today was the perfect way to sum my entire experience thus far. We waited for 40minutes for a bus, that never came because of a strike so we chubby ran all the 30 minutes to the station with 3 pieces of luggage. I couldnt stop giggling because that is just Italy! 

So now, it has arrived. I will be in MIlano soon with the corpses (is that a word?) of other dead missionaries. All i can say is I WILL NEVER FORGET this experience. I can never forgot  the first day of my mission and thinking, "how am I ever going to survive this experience?". A few weeks later I remember thinking, "the next bus i see I am accidently going to put myself in front of it to get an honorable release...." to now thinking, "Io sono Italiana." The best of this entire experience is the end product of myself. My strengths became stronger and my weaknesses became strengths. I found my testimony, it deepened and now it is unshakeable. I will never be able to deny the feelings that I have experienced as a missionary nor the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Come what may, because I will never turn my back on what I KNOW to be true. I c ould not be more gateful for the mission Ihave served and the part of Italy that will always be with me. I am the most blessed person on the earth! 

Now, the countdown begins! I am allowing myself to now focus on the fact that I will see a few of my beloved in just a day! Those will be welcome happy tears. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. 

Vi amo! For the last time, 

Sorella Alley