You ARE Doing Better Than You Think

I know the best of guys. I am fortunate to have stalwart examples of manhood and the priesthood in my life. And guess what, most of these fellas are struggling in some capacity,

And I LOVE THEM for that.

Let me tell you why.

We all have our own demons. We all have our own sins. The entire Plan of Salvation is centered on our ability to change, grow and improve. Those same demons and sins that haunt us do not have to control us. With enough effort, continued determination and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can be FREE from limitations, weaknesses, and our pasts.

The Relief Society lesson this last week was about judging, an especially appropriate topic for women. The majority of the lesson was based on us, as women, overcoming our insecurities to love one another, withholding judgement and being more accepting. While this lesson is very relevant, my thoughts were not on the women sitting in the room but instead next door - with all the men of the ward.

At this time in my life, I haven't found the man I am going to spend my forever with but I hope he is out there - maybe he is putting his luscious hair in a man bun right this moment, maybe he is doing push ups in boot camp, or maybe he is walking down wall street with a briefcase in hand - more than anything, I hope he is TRYING.

Back to the lesson. As I sat there and listened I was overwhelmed by the quality of men I know, Good men. Good men who have made mistakes, who are repenting and are TRYING to be better. There are sins of this generation that seem to affect men more than women (though this is becoming less so) and one of these is particularly degrading for the person viewing it, their relationships and their assumed self-worth. Guys. If you have been caught up in the lies of pornography, YOU ARE NOT WORTH LESS. If you have realized the destructive nature, are repenting and are TRYING to get clean, then YOU ARE MY HERO. Thank you for trying to be better for the woman you are going to marry. Thank you for taking the necessary and insanely difficult steps towards overcoming something THAT IS NOT YOU. You'll have bad days, maybe you'll make the same mistakes, and maybe you'll want to quit but please don't because there are girls - like me - that are banking on your determination to do and be better.

As I sat there in that lesson, thinking of all the great men that I know, I became emotional. Yes, I do believe that in dating and in marriage, honesty is an expectation. Yes, I may feel hurt or sadness that you may be a little lost but I recognize this is not you. Most importantly, I am so proud of you. There is nothing more beautiful than a person who has given their will to the Lord through repentance and is trying every day to be a little better. Your efforts are not unnoticed, your strength is obvious, and your future bright. And I am your #1 fan.

Now, I am about to ask something of you.

Please, please, please hold me to the same standard. Do not think "she deserves something better" because you could be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don't rob me of my happy ever after. Just as you are trying to be better, know that I am doing the same. I am trying to be the person that you deserve and can build your life with. I am trying for YOU.

Fellas, in the words of Elder Holland, "You are doing better than you think you are."

Keep on, keepin' on.
      -Christine Marie

Growing Pains

"It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord answers no to that which is WORTHY and would give us great JOY and HAPPINESS...it seems reasonable and so consistent with our happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the desired result...

If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His beloved Son love you PERFECTLY. They would not require you to experience a moment  more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love." -Elder Richard G. Scott

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/trust-in-the-lord?lang=eng#watch=video

I guess this is what we call growing pains.

<3 Christine Marie

Words of Advice From My Midget

I have a baby sister who is two years younger and three inches taller, though she will forever be my "midge". We have grown increasingly closer through the years and though we live together, we rarely see each other. Often, the only times in which we are home at the same time, one of us in the shower. So after a few cups of ice water have been thrown over the top of the shower curtain, the bearing of souls begins.

I was explaining some feelings that I have been having and how I wish things could be different. Then, my cute little midget who is not-so-little-anymore hit me with the most profound statement.

"The part that hurts the most is that they change the love they felt for you into something hateful and angry,"

This is fascinating, frustrating and futile for my brain. I am able to forgive quickly and, perhaps, this trait has also become a burden when balancing relationships. As mentioned before, I don’t get over people and I like to keep people; not in a creepy I-drive-past-your-house-to-see-if-you-have-a-special-guest sort of way but more like I-always-want-to-remember-eating-Wheaties-and-laughing-at-your-bedhead type of way. My journal is a littering of pictures, texts, inside jokes and memories that have become a part of who I am. I can't seem to erase these people from my life. It kills to think I have been erased from theirs. 

I understand that people move on, we must all heal and do so in our ways but I cannot help but miss the friendship shared. When I think back to any relationship I want to remember the good, smile at the moments, and thank the heavens that we found each other. 

looking back, 

Christine Marie 

Truth

Thank you.

with all my heart,
     Christine Marie

To Love Another Person

Let's set a scene. Perhaps it is late one Friday night and you are with your closest gal pals. Treats of every size and variety are haphazardly scattered across the coffee table. Tears are no stranger and judgement doesn't exist. No? Perhaps you are sitting on your mother's bed, knees tucked up under your chin, your head is resting dejectedly upon your mother's shoulder. Not quite you? Perhaps, instead, you are trying to drown out the noise of your thoughts by the constant pounding of your feet against the cement as you determine yourself strong enough and capable enough to outrun your vulnerability. It may be as simple as driving in the car when the traitor of a radio intrudes with a song that reminds you of what you are trying so desperately to forget. Whatever the scene may be, no matter how long it has been, heartbreak is present.

The well meaning friend, the dutiful mother, even your own mind screams at you to just get over it. But what does "it" mean. Usually "it" takes the form a person, someone you loved. It is well meant advice but this is me confessing - I struggle with this phrase, I don't understand it, and I just don't like it. 

Here is why.

We are told, we allow ourselves to be told, and we often even convince ourselves that by "getting over" someone we will be better, our hearts magically healed. What a tragic idea! I have often said I have trouble letting people go. Recently I have discovered this to be an inaccurate description of my personal healing. I have trouble getting over someone. 

To me there is an ocean of difference between letting someone go and getting over someone. Every relationship is different, each interaction an entirely unique and shared experience between two individuals trying to converge into harmony. Some relationships have been great, some not so great, and some just silly mistakes but each person has stretched me, challenged me, influenced me, or made me reexamine myself to some degree. And if we allow it, each relationship, each person we give ourselves to can help create improved versions of ourselves, that is to say if we allow it to work that way within us. 

I let people go. I understand that it isn't right, or maybe it is right and the timing isn't right, or maybe we just can't seem to make it right together for whatever reason. I honestly want the best for them, and as result of that I still think of them, pray for them, and occasionally "check up" on them (thank you social media) but in no way do I "get over" them. In some circumstances and with some people they may rarely make an appearance in my thoughts beyond the flicker of a memory or emotion and that is okay too. But I ask why do we so earnestly try to forget or erase that part of ourselves? Why do we believe that to heal we must no longer feel? I may have let you go but I will never get over you, for if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the me I am today. 

I don't need to get over you, replace you, or forget you. The heart's capacity to forgive and to love is infinite and I want to live in such a way that I never limit this capacity to feel, to care, to remember, to move on, or to heal.

As Victor Hugo brilliantly declared in his novel Les Misérables, "To love another person is to see the face of God." 

And that is something you can never get over.

Love always, 

   Christine Marie 

Mi manca la mia Italia.

I do not know why but lately I have missed Italy, more so than usual. Miss does not begin to describe my feelings. I ache for Italy. Although I am 100% American and I bleed red, white, and blue Italy will always have my heart. Friday night I headed to the Salt Lake Airport to welcome my last child and companion home from Italy. Watching her interact with her family her mannerisms screamed ITALIAN, she felt like home to me. On the drive home I put on my Italian playlist and the tears began to fall. The following are just a few of the reasons I love Italy.

1. old men in fishing vests 2. Amerena and pistachio gelato (don't say pistachio with a "sh" sound, you filthy tourist, it's a "k" sound 2. the basket on my bike 3. Grandparents are constantly with their grandkids 4, the green parks and shady benches 5. Latin engraved on buildings. 6. You can literally drink water from public fountains 7. "centro" - the city square 8. the incredible street performers 9. humidity > lotion 10.the 1/2 hour and hourly ringing of the cathedral bells 11. open air cafes 12. the red postal boxes lining the streets 13. Pizza. Punto. Basta. 14. Always being on the lookout for gypsies 15. ancient looking apartment keys 16. Chalk artists. 17. street markets 18. the mailman's yellow vespa 19. getting lost 20. Citofoni 21. Focaccia 22. Castles 23. the smell of fresh basil 24. avoiding eating pesce del mare 25. museums 26. the sunflowers of Toscana 27. the anticipation of what an italian stamp might look like 28. inability to understand those from Napoli 29. the architecture 30. Risotto 31. Validating your train ticket or avoiding capi treno 32. Mediaval games and traditions are still practiced 33. Mozzarella 34. Scarves 35. everyone wears sweats all day errrry day 36. Umbrellas are a fashion statement. The bigger the better. 37. Line drying laundry 38. That one apartment with a tub. 38. IKEA furniture 39. Bidets, and trying to use them correctly without looking like you went for a swim 40. Vodaphone ringback tones. 41. Answering machines don't exist 42. Soccer or die. 43. Lidl 44. Plastic baptismal fonts 45. MasterCrumble 46. Running for trains and buses. 47. the sound of Dibb's voice at 10:25pm 48. Nougat pillows 49. 00 Farina 50. Being one of two people in the city wearing a helmet. Your companion is the other 51. Frizzante water. 52. Produce gloves 53. boxed milk 54. the process of promesso di sogornio 55. Nightmare = SCIOPERO. 56. the phrase, "By God's grace" 57. Sloooowwwwly walking past cafe's playing American music 58. Travelers circle 59. Accidentily eating alcohol filled chocolates or gelato 60. soooo mannnny cats 61. conversing with your hands 62. No, they aren't screaming at your, they're italian. 63. The way the members sing hymns 64. I still don't understand why there are so many Lizards? 65. Panna 66. The yogurt is drinkable. 67. Cobblestone streets 68. Sirens are constant. 69. Prosciutto 70. Baci. 71. Tesoro, ciccione, principessa, all Italian nicknames 72. Orzo hot or even frozen 73. Round abouts! 74. scary death elevators or 17 flights of stairs? 75. homemade pasta

Unless you are Italian or you served there, this list will mean very little to you. But for me, these are just a few of the reasons I grew to love the people and the culture.

A small island dedicated entirely to the purpose of fishing and exile off Porto Venere. 

 My absolute favorite view of Verona. This city was full of magic and miracles. 

 Yes Venezia (Venice for you Americani), you are sacred. Mafia, can't you read?

 The coliseum of Verona. 

 Apostasy in Rimini

 My favorite view of Cinque Terre,

 I will return here and live out my last days, 

My apartment was 30 seconds from the Tower. We did morning exercise at this Piazza dei Miracoli.

 I remember this moment vividly. It was my last Italian sunset before flying home and it was almost as if I could feel my love for Italy radiating from my body. It was a moment I will never forget. 

:Ti amo, Italia mia. 

Christine Marie 

It has been a minute since I have written, hasn’t it? I can hardly believe that it has been eight months since my release as a missionary and my return home. Although my heart was shattered into a million shards leaving my beloved Italy, I was ready to return home. I was tired, emotionally and spiritually exhausted, though eighteen months of insomnia and sleepless nights did not begin to compare to the fatigue I felt inwardly. Loving people as deeply and completely that you do as a missionary is not an elementary task. Needless to say at the end of my service I was ready to come home and watch the windows of heaven open to open and pour me out the blessings so that there would not be room enough to receive them (Malachi 3:10).

This is how I figured it must be. I had just devoted 18 months of my young and precious life to the service of the Lord. All of the sacrifices made, all of the trial, tribulation and torment suffered would be equalized with post-mission blessings, right? It only made sense that this is how it would be.

And then I came home. For about a month it seemed like all of the blessings that I anticipated were coming to fruition (shout out to Matt for getting me hooked on this word). The less six months of my mission I had received very specific, personal instruction on the things that I needed to make priority upon my return. Suddenly and very quickly, these things began to materialize in my life and I was head over heels with the course of events.

Just as quickly they all vanished. It seemed as if the Lord had removed his ever-present hand and turned his face from my life. Every single person close to me was experiencing heartbreak in extreme forms and I felt as if I were treading water, attempting to keep all of my loved ones dry and above the darkest of waters while my own heart was broken in a way I had never previously experienced.

In many ways I have healed and have become stronger. In other ways I am still fighting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In some ways I am learning to let go, and in other ways I still hold onto what could have been. Regardless of the many moments of digression, progression and agitation felt in the last 8 months there is one thing I am sure –

Life goes on.

So, here’s to life. Here’s to going with it and cheers to choosing to find joy in the journey.

Christine Marie

Questions to never ask...

Many people have asked me to continue to write my thoughts, so for those few who enjoy reading the mixed up, random, scattered thoughts of my brain this is for you. Now don't torture yourself by following or even reading if you don't want to, I promise I won't be offended. But for all of those who want to climb in and sit beside me on this roller coaster of your life - it's my pleasure. 

Now everyone is familiar with that awkward silence that follows the first initial welcome home hug to any returned missionary. There is no shame, we feel the awkwardness of it as well. Yes, we can feel the overwhelming excitement that transmitted through your hug but once we have both pulled away...then what? If you are waiting for us to start the conversation you had better be prepared to answer with what you read in your daily personal study or if you have kept all your commitments. So instead, we wait. We wait for you to start the conversation. Somehow it naturally always seems to start with a few questions. Let's chat about these questions...

1) "Are you excited to be home?" 

     So, so tough to answer. Yes, usually we are excited to hug our beloved families, run our toes through carpet, and stroll through Walmart once again but truthfully, no we are not. Please do not take this personally, it is not against you. Many of you have spent the recent amount of time anxiously awaiting our return whereas we were painfully aware of the day in which we would remove the tag that has become who we are and end the beloved dimension that has become our reality. 

2) "How was your mission?" 

      Really? Do you really expect us to put our entire mission into a quick, short reply. The only way to adequately respond to this is "It was a mission." If you served a mission than only you will truly be able to understand the moments of devastating heartbreak, overwhelming joy, and personal growth. If you did not serve a mission than we will try to suffice your curiosity with "it was amazing." 

3) "So are you normal again?" 

      What is normal? We felt normal in the life we just so maybe you are the one that is not normal! No okay, it is a fair question. We left home and we were "normal" to you at that time. That is who we had been for the past 18, 19, 20, or 21 years. Then we served missions and we improved ourselves. We smooth our edges. The put our lives into the hands of the Lord and He shaped us to the creations that we were designed to be. So are we normal? No, and we never will be again. How can we be "normal" again after we are improved and bettered? Normal is digression. This is the new normal! 

Of course, each of us returned missionaries served completely different missions and will therefore respond to each question differently. I respond just for myself! 

Happy reading! 

Christine Marie 

The Homecoming!

I will be giving my homecoming address if you would like to come hear a few stories of my mission. 

         The Valley View Stake Center

          Sunday, October 19th at 11:00 am

           2245 East 3900 South 
           Salt Lake City, Utah 

Don't laugh when I don't remember the word in English....cya there! 

Eccomi! It's me again!

Ciao belli! First and foremost, huge shout out for Elizabeth (Liz for anyone without the last name of Alley) for being THE BEST editor and poster of these blogs posts. I am pretty sure if she was not around the world would stop spinning. Thanks Bubbus!

Now onto the best thing that has ever happened to me - the last 18 months. As you have followed along, we have journeyed together from Rimini to Lodi, skipping over to Verona and then for the final stop of Pisa. All ya'll know about that so let us get down to the dirty details of the last moments as a full-time missionary.

The Final days...
   Wednesday, 17th of September, I zipped my LARGE suitcases shut and dragged them to the bus stop. Forty minutes later, with still no train, a man walked by and told us that the buses were on strike. Joy! I actually appreciated this as it truly made the Italian experience, well, Italian. We did make our train on time and as we pulled out of Pisa Centrale, I looked back with peace of mind but a hurting heart. However, there is always a blessing hiding behind a stormy cloud and my blessing was Sorella Ashley Quinton - loving known as Quintard, my 2nd "child". We were left together as companions in Florence as our two companions traveled up to Milano that night. We were given the orders, "Have fun!" so that we did....
  Thursday, 18th of September, we got a head start on the day and were on a train headed to Milano by 8. Once arriving in Milano, it was a huge highlight to see many missionaries coming and going as everyone who transfers filters through Milano. Mostly, it was magical seeing past companions and having my two trainees with me for the last moments of my mission. At noon, all departing missionaries were headed out to the mission office for departing interviews, a fancy dinner, and a final testimony meeting. It truly is a wonderful experience witness the growth of each missionary. As each missionary bore his or her testimony I was simply blown away by the depth and certainty of their testimonies. The mission is losing some kick trash missionaries. We sang the mission song for the last time and there was not a dry eye in the crowd. We spent the night at a hotel but Sorella Roth, Sorella Condie and I could not sleep so we chatted the night away. Mission stories are the best.
   Friday, 19th of September, my parents and sister Liz, flew into Milano at 8. But as everyone knows, traveling is never smooth so they did not make it to the mission home until 11:30 am. As the LAST missionary waiting my eyes were glued on the road and when I saw a minivan crawling and stopping every foot I knew my parents were within hugging distance and I was chasing down that car faster than an asian on rice. The door opened and I saw my sweet mother's face. The next 5 minutes are a total blur but I believe there were lots of tears, hugs, and laughter. Sweet reunion.

I shall not bore you over all the details of the daily travel but instead a few highlights
1) reseeing and revisiting the people and the land that CHANGED my life completely. Being able to share that with my family was incredible. In many ways, these people became my family and I could not have asked for a greater blessing than to be a very minor part of their lives. They are everything to me.
2) I got shotgun seat the entire trip (that has never happened in my entire life)
3) little moments of missionary work. I had set the goal to give out 10 resto pamphlets in Italian and 5 in English, one Libro di Mormon and one Book of Mormon. My favorite moment happened in Rome. We had just entered Vatican City and were waiting for an exclusive tour and had to pass through some security. The security guard noticed my tag and asked me if I am catholic. It led right into the Restoration and I was able to place the man with his own copy of the very Book that changed life. I have high hopes for that man, all it takes is one well placed seed...
4) In Cinque Terre we had our own balcony and I managed to drag my mattress out and slept out each night we were there. There were millions of stars and I spent many hours contemplating my entire mission. Even though I have often felt so small and insignificant to the growth and development of the church in Italy, I know the Lord is appreciative of my service. I may not be much but I am a part of something bigger.
5) realizing the Lord has already begun to bless me for my service. Through a series of certain events, Italy will always be close to my heart but through a series of blessings, Italy may be so much more than just 18 months of service. There is still something for me in Italy. I am determined to discover what it may be.

The 14 days that I spent with my family traveling were incredible, never dull, gelato filled (literally my mom ate 5 in one day), and very special. The transition from being a missionary to returning home is challenging but I am very fortunate to have been able to "readjust" at "home" in Italy. I had moments of being completely overwhelmed but these 14 days will always be special to me. Getting on that plane and watching Italy shrink behind me was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I left my heart in Italy in many ways. Sorella Alley left her heart as a missionary and Christine left her heart without realizing that she had given it away. The silver lining was I had written myself a letter on the plane to Italy and had saved it for the plane home. I was anxious to see what type missionary I wanted to be 18 months earlier and anxious to see if I lived up to my own standards/ In a moment of sweet, tender mercy I again felt the approving presence of the Spirit. I served honorable, loved whole heartily and became a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I was released from being a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on October 4th, 2014. Being considered worthy to care my Savior's name for a full 18 months was the greatest privilege that I have had in my life. Standing as His witness changed my life, my heart and my future. I may no longer be set apart but I will forever be a disciple.

The last time... a strange feeling

Wow. This is a strange feeling. Like that moment right before you wake up but you are still all sleepyheaded. I cannot believe this is my last email as a full-time missionary. You know, from the beginning you think about this moment coming and then the closer it comes, you beg for the time to slow down. I have learned many lessons in these few days - live in the moment because it always ends ;(

Quick run down of the week - saying goodbye to people was pretty brutal, more so than usual because it also felt like I was saying goodbye to Italy, to the only thing I have known for the past 18 months. I held it together until Sunday, specifically sacrament meeting. Then I think I must have gotten dust in my eyes or something because boy were they watering......sharing my testimony in italian for the last time as a missionary was a very special moment. I dont remember what i said or if it was even understandable but I felt peace and so much love toward all the members. Then monday morning, we got a call....our travel plans had been changed and we were to be in milano wednesday evening....so i had to actually face the fact and pull out the luggage. The  last few days have been extruciatingly diffcult. I had the pleasure yesterday of extending the baptisimal invite for the last time in my last lesson. It was the perfect conclusion to my mission but also a very bitter sweet moment. To sum it up, I can say Dying is hard. I literally feel like Italy is who I am now and Sorella Alley is who I am now. I know in time, I will figure it all out but to realize the 18months of consecrated service had come to a finish was a hard fact to face. But on a happier note, today was the perfect way to sum my entire experience thus far. We waited for 40minutes for a bus, that never came because of a strike so we chubby ran all the 30 minutes to the station with 3 pieces of luggage. I couldnt stop giggling because that is just Italy! 

So now, it has arrived. I will be in MIlano soon with the corpses (is that a word?) of other dead missionaries. All i can say is I WILL NEVER FORGET this experience. I can never forgot  the first day of my mission and thinking, "how am I ever going to survive this experience?". A few weeks later I remember thinking, "the next bus i see I am accidently going to put myself in front of it to get an honorable release...." to now thinking, "Io sono Italiana." The best of this entire experience is the end product of myself. My strengths became stronger and my weaknesses became strengths. I found my testimony, it deepened and now it is unshakeable. I will never be able to deny the feelings that I have experienced as a missionary nor the truthfulness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Come what may, because I will never turn my back on what I KNOW to be true. I c ould not be more gateful for the mission Ihave served and the part of Italy that will always be with me. I am the most blessed person on the earth! 

Now, the countdown begins! I am allowing myself to now focus on the fact that I will see a few of my beloved in just a day! Those will be welcome happy tears. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. 

Vi amo! For the last time, 

Sorella Alley 

My last week!

Family family family, 

   hello again! What to say....dying is very strange. It is a roller coaster of emotions but I have had many wonderful  moments this week that I know are tender mercies from the Lord. While studying the other morning, I had a very strong impression the Lord was pleased with my work. I think it might be just a little of what the final judgement will be. As i mentally started from day 1 of my mission and worked to the present moment I examined myself and my desire. The Lord was not there with a clipboard or a list of mistakes that I have made as a missionary or the tiny moments of disobedience. Instead, I felt like He was showing me WHO I was, from the heart outward. I realized I have changed - I am not perfect. I still laugh at naughty jokes, I still drop it low when my companion is not looking and I still hate making my bed. But, I am a better version of me. I am a converted version of me. It this tender moment I felt the loving arms of the Savior rap around me and the welcomed, peaceful thoughts of "yes, I am pleased." Missions are the best. 

Game time

Famiglia mia! Cari miei.

Let's get down to business, shall we? Let us begin with the baptism of my girl Doris! Doris's sister Happiness (yes, legit nigerian name) gave birth so Doris left to Pistoia to tend to her auntly duties. But it worked out perfectly because the sister in Pistoia were able to finish teaching her and preparing her for her baptism on Saturday. And who may you ask are the sister's in Pistoia? Sorella Reni and Quinton! So yes, my little baby was able to prepare Doris for her baptism. So my heart was calm knowing Doris was in good hands. Friday we headed up to MIlano for consiglio della missione and it was weird to be there for the last time. I was doing fine and did not even notice until I shook hands with Anziano Pagano and realized it would be the last time I would see him for AT LEAST 6 months. I just started crying. It's fine. Out of no where it just hit that I HAVE to say goodbye to other missionaries as well as investigators and members. He shed a few tears himself and we parted our ways. Oh my little Pagano. Back to the baptism. Saturday morning rolled around and we started running around firemen in a burning building. Why? MIssionaries are very good at working in organized chiaos. Satan was working really hard to make sure that the baptism didnt happen but we side stepped him all day long and Doris was baptized! Literally it went PERFECT. Doris chose Andrew to baptize her and it's obvious that he was a baptizing missionary (Andrew, you are probably reading this so don't let your head get any bigger....) but he dunked her, literally did a body sweep to make sure it was complete immerse and then even looked at the witnesses. So Doris was baptized and was absolutely glowing! The next morning, she was confirmed and given the Holy Ghost. She is a huge miracle for me because I have been here and taught her for the entire experience. Sunday night the GANS through her a party and the love for her is overwhelming. She fits in perfectly and is the best thing to happen to our little ward. Welcome to the fold Doris, now "wiggle it". 

A week of Consecration

Famiglia Mia! Oh blessed family. How I have longed to be with you this week! This last week was a week dedicated to consecration and we had some very lofty goals. We worked on eliminating the task of the day that are "still good for missiionary work" and focused instead on the tasks that are "the best for missionary work". It was one of the best weeks ever for numbers and for miracles but it was also one of the hardest weeks of my mission.

It got me wondering about why it seems that trials or poopy times always seem to accompany miracles. And while I still don't have my complete answer, I am sure that trials are handpicked for us by the almighty maker. I have often thought that it is not fair that the "really righteous" seem to have the most trials while joe smow who doesnt keep any commandments skips through life whistling. This week made me realize that maybe, trials are given to the righteous, to the already stronger to just make us stronger. To make us more like our Heavenly Father- In one talk i read this week, it mentions that we "arent earning Heaven, we are learning Heaven." I have learned a little bit more about Heaven this week. 

My bike got stolen. Dang. Haha it wasn't even the better bike out of the two but still, someone is riding around on my Lady Mara and it wiped out my bank account. But thanks to the ever trusty Sorella Sarti, I have a new bike. It has been lovingly named, Midge. Why? Because I am pretty sure it is built for a 12 year old. Haha for 60 euro I thought to myself, "i have it for 3 weeks, it doesnt matter to me if my legs are above the handlebars..." So Midge, short for Midget and I are new best friends. 

August 20, 2014

Ciao cari miei! This week has beeeeen incredible! This has been a special week that President Dibb has asked us to dedicate to being more consecrated. I still am not sure what that means because it seems silly to me that for one week we all stop being a little less lazy for just 7 days. Why don't we make it 18 or 24months of consecration? But, consecrate ourselves we did and pop open your umbrellas because it's about to be raining miracles!

We had a wonderful day with the Marino and Sereni families for Ferriagosto. Sorella Sereni brought her neighbors so we were able to fellowship a couple and enjoy a wonderful afternoon together. It was great to be invited and I love both of these families. Fratello Marino is exactly like Dad and I just giggle at him all the time becaue he even grumples the same even though behind th grumppy mug he is all love and smiles. We didnt have to spend the entire day street contacting so it was a miracle.

Saturday, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. But at the end of the day, 2 buses missed and 2 trains missed, we arrived in Pisa and I almost kissed the nasty station ground. But from across the platform I spot a girl, who spots me who sees my tag and instantly her entire countenance changes! MEet Tais, 23 from Brazil! She had been in italy for only 3 days and has come here to study. She was feeeling very homesick and lonely (been there, felt that girl) and when she saw us she burst into tears. In broken english she told us she had been praying to meet us because she knew if she could find the church in Pisa, she would be okay. It was a huge testimony that Heavenly Father was tweaking my plans to answer the prayers of one of His children.. Quanto Dio ci ama!!!!!! 

A really funny story....

La vita è veramente bella. Sapete perché? Vi lo dico. Vi sto scrivendo dalla Arezzo, la terra famosa per il film La Vita è Bella.

I am writing you from Arezzo this week - the exact place that the famous film "Life is Beautiful"  was filmed. Can I tell you how much I love this land. I have seriously given my heart to this country. Alright let's jump into business. First, my mission mom is home now and it's a little weird that my group is now the oldest in the mission. Gulp. But it is also  been an wonderful week in the sense of working. We have not stopped running and most of the time, I am in a sure panic because there is not enough time for everything I want to do but I LOVE IT. Working hard is the only way to finish! 

So Sorella Bennett and I planned a "girl's night" for all our girl GANS. I have missed these nights with my own sisters and besties so we thought it would be a good way to bring us all closer together. We all met at Karen Perez's house and we did each other's hair, makeup, nails, ate and enjoyed being girls. Sorella Hoffman and I shared a message about being Woman of Christ and it could not have gone better. The Spirit was so strong and we testified of own our unique and vastly important role as woman. It was a wonderful night and our relationships and testimonies were deepened. 

We also had a ward FHE put on by yours truly. President Dibb once said, "i like to party" so I figured we might as well party in Pisa! So I filled up 100 water ballons and we played some water games as a family. Except no one told me Italians don't really like getting their close wet. Oops. Best moment of the day, I nailed an elder 3 times in a row with waterballons. Dead chest. Fratello Marino asked me why I could throw like that and I said, "My daddy taught me and I have 2 brothers." All the members were proud of me. Look Mom, I cant play the piano every week when asked but I can throw waterballoons. :) 

Scripture of the week Luke 19: 10"For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." even Jesus had to do finding work! Not all the people found him or came to him. He hit the streets in search for the elect! Strada just got easier. 

Well, i am off! Vi amo tutti! Auguri a Richard and Tammy for 5 years of marriage! and to Bubbus for 28 years of life! 

Sorella Alley 

"Mission Leadership Council - July 4, 2014"

The start of Sorella Alley's LAST transfer!

Famiglia Mia! Non ci credo che è già trasferimento 12! No so dov'è andato il tempo ma c'è un pò ancora quindo devo lavorare piu forte! Devo dare il mio tutto al Signore. 

Trasnfer 12 is coming up like an unwated case of the winter sniffles. This transfer President Dibb changed the transfer policy and transfer calls were made sabato instead of lunedi so that we could say goodbye to members in church. So, sure enough we received a call from President Dibb during lunch. Sorella Bennett is headed to Mestre (includes Venice) and she couldn't be any happier. I am staying in Pisa (praise The Allmighty) and Sorella Hoffman will be coming to Pisa to work with me. Best news though is that Sorella Quinton is coming down to Pistoia so I will be her Sister Training Leader. FINAL SCAMBIO WITH THE BAMBINA! I prayed super hard for both my babies to come down to toscana for my final transfer but I know Burkster is working hard far away....

Please open up your scriptures with me to D/C 4. This is my battle cry - to give with all my heart. But There was a phrase in there I have never seen before. I donated my first body limb to this great cause. Yes, it was required that I give my left pinky toe nail. I have always been prideful of my feet - the toes all slant at a nice level and really I had quite beautiful feet. Now I am humbled. My heels are cracked and calused and I have only 9 toenails. But I painted a fake toe nail so all is well in Zion. 

Working hard in Siena

Ciao da Siena! This week I am writing to you from the beautiful city of Siena. I have lost my heart here in la toscana, there is no beauty that can compare to it. However, I still can't figure out why people choose to farm on the rollings hills.....but I did offer to help a man squish his grapes for wine so maybe when we provide that service, I will receive my answer. Vi faccio sapere.

It seems like I havent really been in Pisa this week as I have had done two scambios and only been in Pisa for Part of Friday, Saturday and Sunday but the few days were jammed backed and rocking. On saturday, Sorella Bennett and I decided we wanted to serve our GANS, so we planned a classic alley favorite, "Breakfast for Dinner". We made scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, and pancakes. It was a hit and my pancakes speak for themselves. We did a spiritual thought about the Motto della Libertà and acted out the title of liberty. I absolutely love all our GANS members and think the world of them. I also feel like they are the future of the church in Italy so that is where our focus should be! 

To celebrate the 24th of July, my companion thought I had forgotten but I am just sly, I made a fort and set up a "park the wagon in" movie. We watched Legacy in our "tent" and even rocked the bonnets. Sorella Bennett thinks I am nuts but she doesnt grasp that Alley's dont do anything slight or little. But in my personal studies I focused on the one thing that changed the lives of so many: The Book of Mormon. I literally cannot imagine the humility of the pioneers to accept the BoM and the Prophet Joseph Smith and then put everything up for sacrifice to follow into an unknown future. That is power, that is the power of the Spirit. Having ancestors from both sides been some of the originals who left EVERYTHING for the gospel I feel so grateful. So little. So much less than these spiritual giants. They are among the very elect and I hope that I am doing them proud in my little spot in Italy.

Patience and Diligence

Buon giorno carissimi miei! I feel like someone is playing a really mean trick on me and stealing days right out from under me. How in the crazy world is it Wednesday?! The beautiful think about working hard is that time FLIES past. The bad thing about working hard is the TIME FLIES past. You just cant ever win can you?

Working hard is what we are doing here in Pisa. Some of my favorite moments this week include Dad's Birthday. To celebrate, I did a scambio in Pisa with a verdina and we taught 5 lessons and literally ran from appointment to appointment. It feels so good to work hard and to be able to say at the end of the day, "Lord, I did you proud today!" 

"Dont have a poncho? That has never stopped an Alley.
Garbage bag and scarf. Mission accomplished."

"Apparently something about this says "please drive past me at a close distance so I can be even more wet".
Soaked to the bone."

Mercoledi

I literally cannot believe it is already mercoledi. It freaks me out how fast time is going and how much work that needs to be done. I am thinking about extending.....just kidding, that is not even given as a option anymore. But I just have to work harder and sacrifice lunch time :)

"What the heck, I saw Dad the other day,
busy holding up the tower. Happy Birthday Dad!"

First - Buon Compleanno al mio babbo! Happy Birthday Popsicle! Seriously, I dont know what I did premortalty to have merited a dad like you but it must have been HUGE. All 6 of us hoodlins (and side now, pretty sure our family is like going to explode during the milennium because there are a lot of souls who still need a family and pretty sure ours is the best so we can expet the Lord to send them to us....) really did luck out. Thanks for teaching us, making us laugh, and doing all our projects that we all know we procrastinated till the last second so you would just do them....oh wait, that was just me? ....but still thanks! The 17th of July will be dedicated in your honor and the 21st will be dedicated to another stallion of a man - Grandpa Alley! I have the best in the world! 

Andiamo avanti - First, I have to say the best part of Pisa is the Gans. Gans in the YSA in Italy. We have a wonderful group of Gans and I seriously learn so much from them. Mostly, it is not easy being a member in Italy but these homies are so strong and wonderful examples to me. We had an activity with them just last night and I best a large part of the evening thinking and reevaluating myself because they make me want to be better. I am so grateful for the Gans of Pisa! 

"Gans! Martina and Serena!"

This week we had a lesson about the temple with a less active who wants to get to the temple and do her own work. The lesson was powerful (hopefully for her) but mostly for me because I realized how much I truly miss the temple and the temple blessings in my life. Yes, I still receive the blessings from the